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Straight Talk
About Tobacco |
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I want to begin today with a little story, a sad one. My parents were divorced when I was three, and for six long years, I didn't see my Dad. Now a boy needs his Dad to come to the football game and say, "You played well, son. I'm proud of you -- you're my boy!" He needs his Dad's hugs, encouragement, guidance and love. I didn't have that, and it was hard for me. For six years, I really missed him. When I was nine, I got the idea to write him a letter. It said, 'Dear Dad -- I want to meet you. Where are you?' He was traveling at the time, and amazingly, my little letter was forwarded seven times from city to city. By a miracle from God, it got into his hands, and he sent for me. I remember the day I first got word he wanted to meet me, and I was jumping up and down with joy. When the big day came at last, and they showed me into the room where he was, I found my Dad lying down, on his back, gasping for breath. He was dying from emphysema, caused by smoking the cigarettes that made our family wealthy. I only got to see him on five visits after that, and every time, he was increasingly sick and frail, and counting the time he had left to live. My Dad died from smoking I was 15. That's mostly why I chose to turn my back on my family's former tobacco business, and why I'm devoting my life to educating our young people about tobacco and smoking. That's why I founded the Foundation for a Smokefree America.
Perhaps the most important single message I have for you today is that smoking is extremely addictive. Once you start, you may not be able to stop — ever. And the same is true for drugs and alcohol. I can't emphasize this enough -- you may not ever be able to stop, if you start smoking or chewing tobacco. If you are already smoking or using dip, I urge you to see the school nurse and get help to stop. People who are most successful in life usually get get plenty of help. I'll talk more about that in a little while. If you are smoking now, or experimenting with tobacco, see the school nurse -- or talk to an adult. It's okay to talk to someone and get help. In this powerful and motivating section of his talk, Mr. Reynolds discusses tobacco advertising. The vivid stories and facts he relates are designed to empower youth to resist the onslaught of cigarette ads and peer pressure. Using the overheads below, Patrick makes great fun of tobacco ads. He emphasizes that smoking looks very un-cool, and is no longer socially acceptable. Both children and high school youth love this section of his talk. Humor is a key ingredient of his presentation.
We've all seen the ads for Marlboro Country, with images of beautiful country scenes, wild horses galloping, and cowboys around a fire or on horseback. Well, here's the real Marlboro Country. We see several smokers, outside their office building in the cold, getting their fix of nicotine -- because they're addicted. They're not welcome inside the building! People just don't want to be around smokers. Often it's not legal to smoke indoors, because second hand smoke can seriously hurt others. The fact is, today, three out of four people in the USA do not smoke. Think about this:- being a non-smoker is the norm. I don't like the Utter Fool spoof ad so much. Why? Because we're calling somebody a fool! This is not an effective way to communicate. The listener will tune out if you call them a name. I want to stop for a moment, and talk about how we can better communicate with each other. If you disagree with someone, or if you want to say no to them, it's smart to start with an honest complement. "Mom, that dinner you made last night was great!" "Oh, it was?" Your parent or friend will open up, and will be all ready to really hear what you have to say next. Of course, your complement must be honest and from the heart. By the way, don't use "but," as it totally undoes your complement. Don't say, "Mom, that dinner you made was great, but..." Instead, use "and". Then use the words I feel and fill in the emotion you are really feeling. What emotions do we have to choose from? We all have five basic emotions -- these are the primary colors of our hearts. We've got anger, sadness, joy, love and fear. And there are a whole rainbow of sub-combinations. Continue with something like, "Mom, I feel sad when I see you smoke. I don't want to lose you!" Or, " You're my best friend. I feel angry when I see you smoke. I want you to put out that cigarette now, please!" Or, "Dad, I really love all the time you spend with me -- and I feel afraid when you smoke. I need you to be there for me." And so on. If you call someone a name, you lose them. If you start with I feel they'll hear what you have to say, and you'll be a really effective communicator. And it's 100% okay to talk about your feelings! I'll come back to that in a little while. Here's another ad that lied. Not so long ago, one tobacco company, RJ Reynolds, used a super cool looking cartoon camel on billboards and in magazines to promote its Camel brand. Joe Camel was a jock-- and he wore sunglasses, drove cool sports cars, played saxophone, and had plenty of girlfriends. He was rebellious and bad. Well, if tobacco advertising told the truth, here's what the cartoon camel would really look like --— Art
by Adbusters — Joe is lying down, sick from smoking! He's got a needle in his arm to get strong medicine to slow down the cancer that's killing him. He's saying, "I wish I hadn't smoked. I fooled a lot of kids into thinking smoking was cool -- and I'm so sorry! I'm so very sorry! I smoked, and now I'm dying of cancer. Just look at me! "Please -- whatever you do, don't smoke!" Notice there are no friends or girlfriends around him, he's no longer an athlete, and he's bald! Sadly, the chemotherapy he's taking made all his hair fall out. So that's what tobacco ads would look like, if they
told the truth about smoking. More About Tobacco Advertising [For teens:] Many teens are not too concerned, sadly, about the risk of disease later in life. But cigarettes cause emphysema, lung cancer and heart disease — and today in the US, smoking causes 1 of every 5 deaths. Cigarettes kill 1,200 Americans every day — that amounts to 420,000 American deaths each year, and two to three million deaths worldwide annually. Let's take a look at cigarette advertising. Almost everyone would object strongly to being manipulated mentally, right? Well, tobacco ads are designed to play with your mind. In January, 1998, Democratic Congressman Henry Waxman revealed some very secret memos of the RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company. In 1975 one executive wrote, "The Camel Brand must increase its share penetration among the 14 - 24 age group — which represent tomorrow's cigarette business." A 1986 memo noted how the cartoon camel campaign would utilize "peer acceptance/influence' to 'motivate the target audience to take up cigarettes." So many teens tell me that tobacco ads had absolutely no influence over them. I agree that tobacco ads will not change your conscious mind — but they may be getting through to your unconscious mind more than you realize. What is the unconscious mind? While your conscious mind is analytical and makes (mostly) sensible, rational decisions, it's your unconscious mind that often throws common sense out the window. It's the creative part of our minds, and it cares little for right or wrong. It just knows what feels good or bad, regardless of consequences. For example, an overweight person may have made a conscious decision to diet, but their unconscious mind remembers the sweet taste of ice cream. The conscious mind's will to diet is overcome by the power of the unconscious mind, and its memory of delicious ice cream. "Willpower" is literally the conscious will's power to repeatedly resist to the desires of the unconscious mind. In a famous study, the Russian scientist Pavlov rang a bell every time he fed his dog. After much repetition of this, one day he removed the food, but still rang the bell. The dog began to drool just upon hearing the bell, even though there was no food there. The dog had made an unconscious association between the sound of the bell and suppertime. For a long time after that, the dog continued to salivate simply upon hearing the bell. In much the same way, cigarette ads we see every day build an unconscious association between the deadly addiction of smoking and strong, positive imagery. In tobacco ads we see healthy young people playing sports which require breath, like tennis or mountain climbing. We see beautiful country scenes and wild horses galloping. We see adults teens would like to emulate -- cowboys who are rugged and manly, and attractive, independent women. We see friends together. Cigarette advertising makes it appear that smoking is socially acceptable. This is false. The truth is, here in the US, three out of four people don't smoke, and it's not okay to smoke around most people — not any more. Smoking is not socially acceptable. Being a non-smoker is the norm. In the USA, the great majority do not smoke -- and most would rather not be around someone who is smoking. But advertising falsely suggests it's okay to smoke around friends. Here's another way tobacco ads try to manipulate our minds. Cigarette billboards and magazine ads, along with the countertop displays in convenience stores everywhere, create the impression that more people smoke than really do smoke. The tobacco companies actually pay convenience stores as much as $40 per month for each display they put out on their countertop! How many days did Pavlov have to ring his bell before his dog salivated just upon hearing the bell? Every year, the tobacco industry spends $4.5 to $5 billion to advertise its deadly, addictive products. That's a lot of bell ringing! Incredibly, cigarettes are the second most heavily advertised product in the U.S., after cars. It's a huge lie and a manipulation on a massive scale, and it seems to be working. Every day, 3,000 teens become newly addicted to cigarettes. In conclusion, the sad fact is that advertising has a much stronger effect on teens than most of them consciously realize. The tobacco industry knows exactly what they are doing, and they spend billions every year to manipulate the unconscious minds of millions of people. Don't let them manipulate you. Three New Scientific
Studies If you're a teen who believes advertising has no effect on you, consider this: a recent study demonstrated that advertising plays a greater role than even peer pressure in getting teens to smoke. Another recent study shows that the three most heavily advertised brands are the same three brands most chosen by teens — Camels, Marlboros and Newport. If you smoke, which brand do you usually use? It is probable that it is one of these three. Finally, a new CDC study published in October 1998, shows that the rate of teen smoking has increased by a staggering 73% since 1988. In that year, the cartoon ad campaign featuring Joe Camel was introduced. The study suggests that cigarette ad campaigns targeting the young, such as Joe Camel and the Marlboro Man, contributed to this major upsurge in teen smoking. Smoking by stars in TV and films has also played a role, and I'll discuss that in more detail later. Photo by Visible Light /
Mickey Krakowski
Let's look at someone trying to quit smoking. For most addicted smokers, the addition is about half-mental, half-physical. This varies with each individual. The physical portion of the addiction is to nicotine. The psychological part of the addiction is to the relaxing, familiar sensation of handling the cigarette, watching its curling smoke, the deep and relaxing breathing associated with inhaling and exhaling, the odd taste, and so on. When quitting, a smoker's conscious mind says, 'I will stop smoking — no problem.' But the unconscious mind has been conditioned that cigarettes give pleasure, and that's all it can focus on. The unconscious mind says, 'Give me a cigarette — now!' It only recognizes what feels good, or what doesn't feel good. It demands a cigarette, without regard to right or wrong, and rebels against the conscious mind's intention to not smoke. During the process of quitting, however, a new habit of being a nonsmoker
forms. The unconscious mind gradually gets used to not smoking, and
the urges to smoke die away. [See Quitting Tips for
more information on how to quit smoking.] So Why Is Cigarette Advertising Legal? [For teens:] Teens often ask me, 'So how come tobacco advertising is legal, if smoking is so bad for you?' There are two reasons. First, let's discuss our Constitution's First Amendment, or Freedom of Speech Amendment. It was originally designed to give people the right to say publicly whatever they want. Until recently, judges in our court system have agreed that this law protects the tobacco companies' right to advertise freely. But in 1997, the U.S. Supreme Court declared that the city of Baltimore had the right to strongly curtail and regulate tobacco advertising within city limits, on the grounds that tobacco is "an exceptional and unusual hazard for our young." The Court was shown a study showing that 90% of those who become addicted to cigarettes become addicted before reaching age 19. The plain fact is, almost no one over the age of 19 becomes addicted to tobacco. New smokers are almost always children and teens. The second reason why tobacco advertising has not been limited by Congress is mostly about money. The world is not a perfect place. The tobacco companies spend more on lobbying Congress and more on campaign donations than any other industry or special interest in the nation. They spent $30 million to influence Congress in 1997, and Big Tobacco was the No. 1 contributor in the 1996 election. In addition to direct donations to politicians, the tobacco companies also spend a fortune on lobbyists, who are well connected and paid for one purpose — to influence Congress and State legislators. Politicians mostly use the donations of the "special interests" to run their election ads on TV, and hopefully get reelected. Of course, public officials insist that the money they take has no influence over them. But recent studies have shown that Congressional members who accepted donations from the tobacco industry were several times more likely to vote the way the tobacco companies wanted them to. Thanks in large part to these donations, for example, Congress has done nothing in the past 30 years to limit tobacco advertising. What other favors has Congress done for big tobacco? For several decades, they have done next to nothing to substantially raise the Federal cigarette tax. As of December, 1998, the U.S. has the second lowest cigarette tax (after Spain) in the entire industrialized world. In addition, for 30 years, Congress did next to nothing to enforce the sales to minors laws. In many States, those under 18 can still buy cigarettes the majority of the time, without being carded by clerks. Our present system of campaign finance — the way we finance elections — allows for unlimited donations of money to our political parties. These no-limit contributions to the parties are called 'soft money'. In return, politicians often grant special favors to the largest donors. There are, however, a few good politicians who are now trying to reform our present system of campaign finance. That's a very big part of why tobacco advertising is still largely unregulated, why the U.S. has the second lowest cigarette tax in the world, and why it's often easy for our children to purchase tobacco. [Update March 1999:] The settlement agreements with the various States all provide for an end to cigarette billboards and countertop displays. Tobacco may still be advertised, however, in most magazines, and may be displayed prominently behind the counter. Many States' agreements are now being challenged in court by anti-tobacco advocates who insist they are not strong enough. If the courts agree, then these agreements will eventually become void, and will be renegotiated all over again. If this happens, I'm hopeful that stronger agreements will be signed. In summary, it's far from a perfect world out there. While the courts are moving toward stronger regulation of tobacco advertising, our politicians are, sadly, all too often influenced by special interest money. So, just because you see tobacco ads everywhere, it doesn't mean that tobacco is acceptable or safe. Be smart — don't let these very deceptive and misleading ads send a false message to your unconscious mind.
Countertop Displays and Dip It' s far too easy for children to steal cigarettes or chewing tobacco from countertop displays. These displays conveniently face away from the cashier, where they are far too easy to shoplift — and where they are also right at child eye level, as kids are growing up. Worse, countertop displays create the false impression among the young that 'Lots of people must want these products. If the store puts them right on the countertop, they must be really popular. I'd like to try smoking or chewing.' Most teens are unaware that the tobacco companies pay stores about $40 per month to keep those single pack displays of cigarettes or dip on their countertops. Without those payments from Big Tobacco, those displays would quickly disappear. Chewing tobacco became popular just a few years ago, largely because teens were deceived in this way into thinking it was a popular product. When the U.S. Tobacco Co. began their ad campaign to re-launch their addictive products, they paid grocery and convenience stores vast amounts of money to put their displays on their countertops. Kids saw the displays everywhere and thought, 'Dipping must be really popular.' The truth is, only very few people in the nation, mostly old men, chewed at that time. And tens of thousands of kids got addicted and became regular customers. It makes me angry and also sad. Cigarettes and 'spit' tobacco should be kept under the counter, unseen. The old saying applies: out of sight, out of mind. Then only already addicted customers would think to ask for these deadly products. The U.S. Tobacco Company makes several brands of spit tobacco. The
one most kids start out on is Cherry Skoal. It has the weakest nicotine
bite, and is sweetened, with cherry flavoring added -- not unlike
candy. And these products are often placed next to or near the candy
in convenience stores. The brand with the strongest nicotine bite
is Copenhagen — and US Tobacco actually had the gall to take
out one ad which read, "Sooner or Later, it's Copenhagen!" A True Story about Spit Tobacco The following story of Sean Marsee is true. Sean Marsee was a popular athlete at his high school; he had won 28 medals at track meets. He began chewing tobacco in his mid-teens. One day he came home and told his mother, 'Mom, my tongue hurts.' "Well, we'd better get you to the doctor," she replied. They went to the doctor, who performed some tests on Sean. A few days later, Sean was lounging around the house, when the phone rang. He heard his mother answer in her bedroom. A few minutes later, he heard his mother's sobs through her closed door. He softly went into her room, and put his hand on her shoulder. 'What's wrong, Mom?' "Sean, you have cancer in your tongue," she said between sobs. They went back to the hospital, where Sean had to have most of his tongue cut out. He was 18 years old. He would never be able to talk again. Two operations would follow. A year later, the cancer had not gone away, and had spread to his jaw and neck muscles. He had to have half of his jaw removed, along with half of his nose and many of his neck muscles.
Mr. Reynolds shows these photos and
tells Sean Marsee's story.
At age 19, Sean Marsee lay in bed, sad and disfigured, and in unspeakable pain. His best friend came down from Chicago to see him for the last time. The best friend asked, "Sean, what if, by some miracle, you could get a message to other teens? Do you have any message you'd like them to hear?" And Sean nodded, because without his tongue he couldn't speak — and he gestured for pen and paper. He wrote, "Don't dip snuff." And a few hours later Sean died. The moving story Sean Marsee is available in greater detail through any local branch of the American Cancer Society. Ask for the free reprint of the Readers Digest article about him, and also their free brochure on chewing tobacco. Our thanks to the American Cancer Society and the Marsee family for allowing us to reproduce these photos. To review: I explained how chewing tobacco was made to look like a popular product. The US Tobacco Company paid thousands of convenience stores to place their addictive products on countertops, and teens across the country assumed that chewing tobacco must be really popular. Tens of thousands tried it and soon became addicted. What are the feelings and emotions you get, hearing this story? [Discuss with teachers in class / with friends / parents.] The best website we know on chewing tobacco is www.patchproject.org -- check it out. It includes teriffic quitting tips and much more.
On Becoming an Adult Six out of ten smokers start before reaching age 14. Nine of every ten smokers become addicted before age 19 — in other words, almost no one starts smoking after 19! Almost all of the tobacco industry's new customers are teens. So you — the young — are the only new recruits the tobacco companies can get. All of you are moving at your own pace from childhood to adulthood.
In the teen years, things start moving more quickly, like the rapids
when a river gets narrow. It's actually normal around that time to
go through a rebellious period. It's part of the usual process of
establishing your own identities and personalities. You may be saying
NO more to adults, or arguing more with your parents and teachers.
Whatever you do, just don't rebel by smoking — or by becoming
addicted to drugs or alcohol — because if you do, you may not
ever be able to stop. It's yesterday's news — smoking is on the
way out. And these addictions have a very good chance of killing you.
So be smart, and make responsible choices. Smoking in Movies and TV Recently there has been an upsurge in the amount of smoking in movies and on TV. Even prior to this recent rise, studies showed that a character in the movies is much more likely to smoke than a person in real life. The good news is that the media were helpful in publicizing these facts, and this sent a strong message to Hollywood. I could never agree with the idea of censoring the movies. There is truly a strong case to be made for not censoring the arts. Instead, three effective actions can be taken to counteract the glamorization of smoking in the movies. First, the new ratings code for television could point out to what degree a particular TV show glamorizes tobacco. Along with many distinguished watchdog pro-consumer groups, I advocate rating system proposed to Congress which gives shows separate ratings for violence, sex and language, as well as an overall rating. Adding a smoking rating might cause stars and producers to think twice about this crucially important issue. They know that not all corporations would be willing to place commercials on shows which got a low grade in enough categories. Second, shining the media spotlight on movie and TV stars who glamorize smoking is proving to be a very effective strategy. We can give producers, directors and stars who glamorize smoking on screen a dose of healthy shame — and reward those don't glamorize tobacco with acknowledgments and awards. For example, I pointed out on Good Morning America in late Fall, '97 that John Travolta has smoked in every film he'd appeared in recently. He even smoked as an angel in Michael! I also called Julia Roberts to task for her smoking in My Best Friend's Wedding, as well as the cute little alien creatures in Men In Black, who smoked and made it look cute and cool. In the GMA segment, we also pointed out that movie stars have done a great deal to help popularize cigars. We singled out Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day, as well as Arnold Schwartzenegger, Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, and Pierce Brosnan, all for appearing on the cover of Cigar Aficionado magazine. Their use of cigars makes a powerful statement, which is not lost on teens as they browse through the nation's magazine racks. On Good Morning America I stated, "It's hypocritical for stars to make lofty acceptance speeches at the Academy Awards, and then forget all those high ethics and moral standards when actually making films. That's what happens when they allow their screen characters to glamorize smoking. Stars need to be reminded how much youth look up to them, and that they are role models for millions of kids, and idolized by many." It's simple: if stars make responsible choices, young people will copy them. In a People magazine article, I pointed out that Winona Rider and Ethan Hawke had glamorized smoking in Reality Bytes and in other films. This news got back to Winona, and it made her angry. But perhaps she will think twice before making smoking look cool to millions of teens around the world in her future films. Third, a great website for finding out just how much smoking there is in films is www.screenit.com. The well-known movie critic Roger Ebert named ScreenIt as one of the Top Five Most Useful Movie Sites on the Internet. Go to a review of any film at the site, current or past, and check out the SMOKING rating for that movie. I've asked the www.screenit.com folks to consider offering a way for the public to express their opinions to stars and moviemakers. If ScreenIt uses the concept I have submitted to them, you could then make your feelings known with some assurance that your message will be heard. And letting moviemakers know your thoughts and opinions is a highly worthwhile tactic, as they really do listen to messages from you. Why not send www.screenit.com an e-mail requesting that they provide a way for you to make your feelings known to filmmakers? For a list of which films Phillip Morris placed its products in -- including, astoundingly, The Muppet Movie and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? -- check out Phillip Morris' website url http://www.philipmorris.com/getimg.asp?DOC_ID=2025863645/3659. A most incisive report on the recent increase in smoking in films
was issued in March, 1998. The press release summarizing it may be
found at our website's url www.tobaccofree.org/films.html.
The report was co-authored by Stan Glantz and his team at the University
of California, San Francisco. Placing Cigarette Brands in Films Another note: just a few years ago, some producers would take large payments from the tobacco companies to place cigarette brands in films. The producers of License to Kill took a $350,000 payment to have James Bond smoke Larks in the movie — and of course, James Bond is a role model for young boys. In Superman II, woman reporter Lois Lane, a nonsmoker in the comics, chain-smoked Marlboros, and the Marlboro brand name appeared some 40 times in the film. Tobacco giant Phillip Morris paid a mere $40,000 to the producers for this. Of course, Lois Lane is a role model for young girls. Sylvester Stallone took a huge payment from one tobacco company to smoke their brand in three of his films. And these are just the documented cases — there are doubtless many more which will never come to light. Hollywood swears that it has stopped placing cigarette brands in films — but I know of one instance in which a tobacco company partly financed a film. U.S. Tobacco, which makes most of the chewing tobacco, has a movie production division. They made a movie called Pure Country, in which handsome, good-old-boy cowboys chew. Fortunately, it bombed. There have been more current reports of cigar companies paying to promote cigars in films. For a list of which films Phillip Morris placed its products in --
including The Muppet Movie and Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
-- stop by Phillip Morris' website url http://www.philipmorris.com/getimg.asp?DOC_ID=2025863645/3659. On How To Study [For middle schools:] I'm going to ask you a question in a moment. But first, I want you to keep your eyes me, stay very quiet and not talk to your neighbor. You guys are being so good today! That's how we learn, we keep our eyes on the teacher, we don't talk to our friends, and we listen. When we listen to the teacher, we learn! [For both:] When we don't understand something the teacher says, the most successful students raise their hands and ask questions. People who win in life get help. For example, in business, a successful businessperson gets a lawyer to write the contracts, and advertising agency to create the ads, a marketing executive to do the marketing, a doctor when they're sick — people who win get help, and lots of it! Even the greatest novelists have editors. So don't be afraid to get help. Ask your teachers and parents questions — it's good to ask, and it's okay to ask. Real men do ask for directions! By the way, how do we study? It's called Butt Power — you keep your butt in the chair and your nose in the book. Excellence takes just a little extra effort and focus. Highlighting is good, and if you have time, go back and read what you highlighted again, to review. Always ask questions when you don't understand. [Update March 1999:] We hear a good deal lately about the excessive
homework being assigned today. I encourage all students to let
your feelings be known about that. Go ahead -- say, "I feel
angry and sad about not spending enough time with my family,"
or "I feel afraid that I can't keep up." Your speaking up
really makes a difference -- and it will make you feel better. If
enough families speak up, schools will respond, and we will see change.
As I mentioned, it's far too easy for children to steal cigarettes from countertop displays, and too easy for young teens to buy them. And all the tobacco companies have to do is to sit back and wait until you get addicted. If you do, your cigarette addiction will cost you around $900 per year to maintain — and you might not ever be able to stop. [For middle schools:] Okay! Remember I asked you to stay very quiet and not talk to your neighbor. [For both:] So here's my question. Let's see a show of hands: How many of you know of a friend who has stolen or shoplifted cigarettes from these single-pack countertop displays? [In most elementary schools, sadly, from 1/4 to 1/2 of the hands go up.] That makes me feel sad. Let's have a talk about ethics. I'm going to give you three good reasons to be honest. First, there's our relationship with our community. It really hurts our community when we are dishonest — and that means it hurts the people around us. It hurts our parents, our friends, and our neighbors. And we hurt ourselves, too. The fact is, we are all models of ethical leadership for each other. If you steal, you lead your friends in a dishonest direction. On the other hand, when we do the right thing, we lead our friends in a good and honest direction. You influence your friends positively when you refuse to use cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol. And your example really does influence your friends. If you say yes to these things, you're hurting yourself and your friends. Second, there's our relationship with God. Third, there's our feelings about ourselves. One of the best reasons I know to be honest is that it just plain feels good. And it feels so bad if we do something dishonest. For example, it's so painful to hide and tell a lie, or to keep a deep, dark secret when we have done something wrong. Guilt and shame are very uncomfortable, and therefore very costly, emotions. Telling the truth, and being honest, sets us free. It's really very simple: it just feels good to be
honest." On Secrets [For middle schools:] Mostly I don't like secrets — the only
okay secrets are those of your best friends. Again -- don't be afraid
to talk to an adult, or to your parents, about anything. There are
no good secrets, except those of your best friends! And if you can't
bring yourself to talk to your teachers or parents, then please talk
to the school counselor. That's what they're there for. Remember,
winners get help and ask questions. What Can I Do If My Parents Smoke? I get asked this a lot, and my answer might surprise you. Don't be a NAG about their smoking habit! But you can make noise about their smoking in the house or near you, because their second hand smoke hurts you. But don't nag them to quit. There's a big difference! Just three times a year, you can ask your loved one – briefly – VERY briefly – to please quit smoking — in VERY loving and warm tones. (Try surrounding your request with HONEST complements, keep it BRIEF, and they will be more open to hearing you. But if you speak up more than three times per YEAR, then you're a yucky, obnoxious NAG! I ask nonsmokers to honor their smoking loved ones, and treat them like adults. That's actually the best way to get them to quit -- don't be a nag about others' addictions, and you open the way for them to decide to quit by themselves. You do get to be a pest about second hand smoke, which of course hurts
you — but not about your parent's addiction. If you nag them
to quit smoking, they'll often be so angry that they'll smoke out
of spite, and you'll actually be helping to keep them addicted. So
don't be a nag! Review Or, to a friend: "I love being your friend, and I value our friendship. And I feel angry when you smoke. I don't want to lose you. I want us to both live a very long time." To your Dad: "Hey, Dad, thanks for taking me to the game last Saturday. I had a great time with you. And you know, I'm afraid when I see you smoking. I need you to live a long time. I love you, Dad. " But don't be a nag about their addiction to smoking. Remember, you only get ask parents to quit three times a year. More than that, and you're a nag -- and they'll be so angry about being nagged, they'll probably keep smoking. But you do get to be a pest about second hand smoke, because that hurts you.
I personally know of a 17 year old girl in Kansas who's dying now from lung cancer, caused by smoking. A young man died at 19 from chewing tobacco. You'll never get AIDS? Just ask a teen who is HIV-positive, and who may have their life cut short by that disease. You won't get addicted? Ask a teen drug addict or a teen alcoholic. This is very, very sad. The tragic fact is every day, 3,000 more teens become
addicted to cigarettes — and one in three of them
will later die of smoking.
As mentioned earlier, from 1988 to 1996, we had a sudden and unexplained increase in the amount of teen smoking — a 73% jump! This really makes me sad, and it makes me angry, too. Why are today's teens taking up smoking in increasing numbers? Why have we also seen a rise in drug and alcohol use among many teens? What makes today's teens different? While we are well aware of the recent increase of smoking in films and TV, and of cigarette ad campaigns targeting youth (such as Joe Camel), there is one factor which has gone unexamined. I believe a very significant reason for the recent rise in teen smoking is this -- many teens today don't believe in their future with the same degree of optimism of yesterday's teens. Large numbers of today's youth do feel they face a bleak future. When Coca-Cola executives conducted market research for their ad campaign for OK soda in the early '90's, they discovered that today's teens suffer from "an acute sense of diminished expectations." They found that many were pessimistic about their future job prospects. I believe this has helped start a disturbing trend. It's the common attitude, 'Let's party now! Who cares if I smoke / drink / try drugs or other high risk behaviors? The future is looking pretty bad. I'm angry about it — the adults really screwed things up! I want to have some fun while I can.' I'm not talking about teens from the most affluent 20%
of the nation, although many of those teens also have
doubts about the future. The problem is more pronounced
among average families. And for many in the lower half,
that bleak future has already arrived. Outline for a Solution:
You'll need your health in the good
times ahead, so avoid tobacco and other high risk
behaviors. Let's discuss the above in more detail. 1. Talk
about it. How do you feel about your future? Are you optimistic — or are you more of a pessimist? Does your future look reasonably bright, or pretty dim to you? If your future were decidedly dim, and the adults really did mess things up, you'd be 100% right to be angry. But even if that were true, taking your anger out on yourself hurts mainly you. For example, some teens take out their anger by smoking, drinking, using drugs, or taking other extreme risks. If you do this, yes, you hurt your parents, but the person you most hurt is yourself. These behaviors can hurt you pretty seriously, and they might even hurt you for life, and could destroy your whole future. My advice is that if you feel some anger, go ahead and get it out using your mouth — "I'm ANGRY about the..." Say this as LOUD as you like to your parents, to your friends, or perhaps to the school counselor (a smart move). Remember, those who get help and ask adults questions tend to be more successful. Whatever you do, don't make the error of hurting yourself with your own anger — by smoking, drinking, using drugs, or risking other unsafe behaviors. It's by talking about our feelings, as soon as possible after they happen, that we heal. When we instead numb out and pretend everything's fine, our anger, sadness and hurt just build up inside. Then we forget why we were angry or sad in the first place — and we take it out on ourselves, hurting ourselves with tobacco, alcohol, or worse. So talk about your feelings — to family, to friends, to a trusted
teacher -- especially your parents or the school counselor. Find someone
you feel completely safe with and talk about what's on your
mind. That's the best way to fix the problem. Talk about what makes
you angry, sad or afraid. Talk to someone, and it will help you feel
much, much better. 2. Think positive. While it's good to let your negative feelings out and talk to others about them, it's also smart to try to keep a generally positive outlook. Where is it written in stone that your future will be dark? Negative thoughts like those on the left below will pull you down. They will hinder your progress toward your goals. On the other hand, positive thoughts like those on the right will help to propel you forward in life. Positive thoughts will help you reach your goals and help your dreams come true.
It's important to talk to adults about your negative
feelings, but don't get too carried away with them. Most
of the time, try to think positive. Notice how you start
to succeed more. What if there are leaner times ahead? What if tough times are already here for your family? Are you angry about it? Does that mean you just give up and throw your whole future away on tobacco, drugs, alcohol or take other irresponsible risks? Life's painful times give us a gift: they increase our soulfulness, and they build our spirituality. Difficult times also bring us closer to our loved ones. Our struggles help to strengthen our character, and help us find out who we are. And by talking about our feelings of sadness and/or anger, we heal our wounds and become stronger. Yep, real men do talk about their feelings. They are
actually more powerful, masculine and successful than
those who close off from others and isolate. 3. Reevaluate: What is real wealth? What is real wealth, anyway? TV sends us strong and repeated messages that to be "wealthy" we must buy more products, and spend more money. Our whole present economic system is based on the yearly growth of the economy. Our culture emphatically tells us that consuming more every year is both necessary and good for the world. Our shopping malls are shrines to buying more and still more things which we don't really need. This is the wrong direction for us to continue in. We must find the courage to change, and leaders who will help us change. The world has a limited amount of renewable natural resources, and we must try to consume less, not more, in the future. The truth is, as the less industrialized Third World nations industrialize, and as their citizens begin to consume as much energy as we do, that our planet simply cannot sustain this rate of depletion of the earth's natural resources. The haves and have-nots of the world's peoples will compete for the remaining resources. I am optimistic and hopeful, however, that this problem will be solved, as governments grow more honest and more cooperative with one another. Television promotes a very false idea of wealth. Its commercials suggest that owning material things will bring us happiness and fulfillment. Shampoo ads cunningly imply that their brand of shampoo will actually make us better looking. These TV ads slyly, and falsely, suggest that owning this article of clothing, or that kind of car, will actually make us more successful with the opposite sex. All this is very far from reality. The truth is that our 'inner lights,' or personalities, are what most attract the opposite sex. TV, however, implies that without buying these material things, we can't be happy, sexy or fulfilled — and this is simply a lie. Cigarette ads are one of many examples. The material things advertised everywhere in our culture are just that — only things! We need to turn away from our intense focus on the material. The more we get, the more we want. And the more we want, the more frustrated and unhappy we become. Our goals continually recede further and further beyond our reach. I believe the highest form of wealth is the simple knowledge that we already have enough. In one sense, real wealth means to be free of desire — or free of wanting more than we now have. When we know we have enough, we are truly wealthy — and far happier, too. The book Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin develops this idea. It makes a strong and moving case for simplifying our lives, and has influenced a great many people in the US. For many people, real wealth is about family, and the love we get at home. For some it's about fun times shared with good friends. For others it's about joy of a life spent together with a special someone. For many it's about children. Real riches are also found in good health, one's positive memories of a life well lived, or the simplicity of enjoying a beautiful winter or summer day. True wealth comes, too, from our good feelings about ourselves — our pride in our inner selves. Feeling good when you are alone is also a sign of wealth. Real wealth can also be about your connection to God, or to your own higher power — however you may think of that. In conclusion, don't fall victim to all the materialistic messages coming from television and the advertising industry -- and remember what wealth really is. Our society is now changing rapidly. What if in the future we come across a few lean months — or even years? What if the lean times are already here for you? Personally, I have a strong conviction and faith that any tough times will pass, and the world will once again become a very bright and positive place. I want to share my vision with you, and the strong feeling I carry deep inside. I believe that something great and wonderful is coming our way, and that a golden age will follow any possible tough times, as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow. Call it mystical, call it irrational, but you can't take that feeling away from me, or convince me otherwise. It's mine! I'm sharing it with you now, in hopes that it might plant the seed for you to develop the same inner conviction -- this faith -- I have. Where did I get this strong faith in the future? I listened to, and saw, what many others believed and felt. For example, ancient Jewish prophets predicted that a Messiah would one day come to save the world. Prophets in the Christian Bible predicted that, right when times on Earth were darkest, Christ would come back again and save mankind. Afterward, these prophets said, the earth would enjoy 1,000 years of peace and harmony — green things would again multiply on the planet, and fish would again be plentiful in the oceans. They predicted that the earth will be transformed into a wonderful place, and there would be a golden age. Whatever you believe, I hope you will open your mind to the basic idea here — that that things will get eventually better no matter what, and all will be okay in the future. Thinking positive is also a form of faith — and it really works. Develop your ability to think positive thoughts, and very shortly you will see concrete results. The Positive - Negative thoughts table above is a good example of how to think positive. Scroll back and reread it. Write out you own list of positive thoughts. I have faith that the future is looking great, no
matter what. Share my vision, and stop holding yourself
back by worrying about the future. Think positive
thoughts as much possible. Practice this, and develop
your faith that all will be well. Think positive, and you
will be more successful in life, and enjoy more
abundance. Hold on to Your Health for the Terrific Times Ahead You'll need your health in the wondrous years ahead — so avoid tobacco and other high risk behaviors. Make responsible choices now. Lead your friends in a good direction by not smoking. Make the smart choice, and don't risk becoming addicted to cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. Plan for the amazing future that's coming your way. You'll need your
body to be in excellent health, to enjoy the long and amazing life
you have ahead of you in the 21st century! A Fork in the Road I came to a big fork in the road in my life — with one road leading the right way and another leading the wrong way. There were signs — the signs pointing in the wrong direction said, 'Easy Way This Direction,' 'Familiar Territory,' "Smooth Road Ahead,' 'For Comfort, Right This Way'. The signs pointing in the right direction said, 'Danger Ahead,' 'Unfamiliar Territory,' 'Steep Uphill Climb This Way,' and 'Rocky Road Ahead.' Each of you will come to many such forks in your roads
ahead. And when you do, think twice before taking the
easy way. Choose the road you know is right!" A Pledge |
The
Addiction
On Ethics 
